English: Tibetan endless knot Nederlands: Tibe...

English: Tibetan endless knot Nederlands: Tibetaanse Oneindige knoop (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I have discovered in the course of my journey that life and psychic growth move in cycling spiral rings of descent and ascent. Every new growth in myself has been preceded by a descent of the seed into the dark ground.

Linda Shierse Leonard

I believe that I have been given the experience of having bipolar disorder for a reason. It is here in my life to teach me. Now that doesn’t mean I am a Pollyanna about it. Far from it. There are many times when I rail against my fate. I get angry at God and the Universe. It feels like I am the most cursed person in the world.  I feel like it is a punishment and if I could just atone for my sins that everything would be okay.

But on my better days I see that it has forced me to grow as a person. I say “forced” because quite frankly, it is very painful to go through. I don’t seem to be the type of person who changes easily.  Once I get in my comfort zone, I won’t budge. It mostly has to do with fear of being judged. I know where I want to be and what I need to do, but I become paralyzed by knowing that whatever I do it won’t be perfect.

Hermann Kuhn, quoting from his translation of the Tattvarthasutra, describes karma as “a mechanism that makes us thoroughly experience the themes of our life until we gained optimal knowledge from them and until our emotional attachment to these themes falls off.”

Now karma is not a punishment. It is a tool for learning from our mistakes. And it doesn’t have to come from a past life. It is a process that goes on in our daily lives all the time.  The Bible describes it as “As you sow, so shall you reap.”

Closely related to the idea of karma is the concept of “The Law of Attraction.” Basically it says that we attract certain experiences into our lives based on our thoughts and beliefs. So for instance if you want money or health, you can visualize this happening.  It has worked for a lot of people. It is a good idea as far as it goes, but ultimately I think that it is a self-serving ideology that appeals mainly to what the ego wants. And it places blame on those who go through the very real experience of suffering every single day.

I once asked a New Thought minister about whether he thought suffering has any value. He dismissed it by saying “Not if you think the right way.”  And yet he, just like everyone else, got sick from time to time. His way of describing a cold was as ” a cleansing process.” That made me laugh, and maybe seeing it that way did help him get better faster. But it was also a form of denial. A cold is still miserable no matter what you call it. Later on, his wife died of cancer.

The word EGO can mean “Edging God Out.”  The ego wants what it wants, and if it is in line with what Spirit wants then positive thinking can bring it about. On the other hand it can be a waste of time if you don’t pay attention as to why you are in your present situation. Sometimes it is best not to fight it, but instead surrender to what is.

So basically we attract into our lives situations that we need to learn from and they won’t go away until we get the message.

“Stay tuned” for the second half of my post 😉

Namaste  (“The Spirit in me sees the Spirit in you”)