Dementor

Dementor (Photo credit: ap.)

In 1998 I wrote this poem when I was in the midst of my worst depression ever:

Darkness seeps in

Through cracks and under doors

Slowly drips down windows

Obscuring everything

It rises and I choke

On its acrid smokiness

Now logically I know that darkness has no substance in itself. It is just the absence of light. But this is what depression feels like. It is like some dark entity has taken possession of me. Not literally, like a demon, but it sure feels like it. If you are a fan of Harry Potter, then the feeling is like when the Dementors tried to suck the soul out of his body. They literally convinced him that there was nothing good in the world at all. If his other self, the one who had come from the future, hadn’t rescued him, he would have been lost forever.

Perhaps this “other self”, could be a metaphor for the Higher Self, the part of us that knows that this darkness and despair is not real. The one who can help us if we will let it. The one that sends the magical Patronus (animal protector) who charges to the

English: Harry Potter's deer-shaped patronus E...

English: Harry Potter’s deer-shaped patronus Español: El patronus de Harry Potter Français : Le patronus de Harry Potter prenant le forme d’un cerf. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

rescue and restores us to sanity.

Of course, as with all fairy tales, things are usually not that simple. But they point us towards a truth worth considering: That our illusions are just that, illusions. Depression is not reality. Love and light are reality. Even if we can’t see it all of the time.

I had a strange dream a few nights ago. Someone who I intensely dislike told me that I was not alone. I angrily rejected that. I didn’t trust him. This is not something that this person in real life would have said to me, ever. However, with most dreams the images of those we don’t like are “borrowed” from the outer world to make a point. The man in my dream was a part of me, an unconscious ally. He was letting me know that I have more strength than I think I do.

Anyone else have any thoughts about this? Is there a part of you that knows that even in the blackest despair that it is not real? Please share.

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