Hello. My name is Mary Rogers and I have been dealing with bipolar disorder for thirty-four years. I worked as a peer counselor for Mental Health America for seven years. Now I am an aspiring writer on mental health issues. I live in Southern California
I have started this blog to give hope and inspiration for those who suffer from Bipolar Disorder, as I do. My goal is to give a spiritual point of view of recovery from mental illness. Although I can’t give advice, I am hoping that by sharing my story it may help others come to terms with having depression or bipolar disorder and learn how to manage it through spiritual means.
To me, bipolar disorder is like being in the hall of mirrors in a funhouse. Sometimes it is fun, but most of the time it’s not. When I look into the mirrors, reality is distorted. Which one should I believe? How do I know what reality is if I’ve never even seen it?
For most of my life I have been captive to my turbulent emotions. They distort my reality to the point that madness seems normal and it is everyone else who is out of step. If I am suicidal it seems ludicrous to think that there is anything good in the world. In fact I wonder why anyone would want to live.
Of course, there is the flip side to the story. In my rare and brief periods of mania I feel like I can touch the sky and nothing is out of my reach. All the circuits light up in my brain and suddenly everything seems so simple. I fall captive to the idea that I am so spiritually enlightened that I will never be depressed again.
And then comes the inevitable fall.
In recent years I have realized that recovery from mental illness is hard work. Medication helps, but it doesn’t fix everything. And developing a spiritual perspective is hard work also, but well worth the effort. Unfortunately, it isn’t likely that lightning from the heavens is going to strike me and I will be magically healed.
However, I am finding that for me spirituality is an important part of my recovery. If I can see things from a Higher Perspective then it puts my suffering into a completely new context. From that context I can move beyond my limited vision of how things are or should be based on my emotional state.
My life is a journey and I have accepted this as my path. There is nothing that can happen to me that doesn’t have some sort of lesson for me to learn. Everything is a gift.
I hope you will join me on my journey. My answers may not be your answers but I hope you will find inspiration here.